Monday, September 29, 2014

Episode 137 (Part 1): Good Night, Mr. Walters

Mmm-mmm.
The Dads discuss All Shonda Thursdays on ABC and their favorite 80's post-TV show production company logo, like Stephen J. Cannell, John Charles Walters, and UBU.

Then they talk about the White Dads theme by one of the other D.M. Engels.

D.M. is not allowed to pee in his own bathroom, and he and his wife have written swear words on their bathroom walls.

A listener makes a Jalapeno McDicken and Matt is going to his house.

Viva loves action figures and Matt wants to use her to justify buying a $100 lego Terror Drome.
The Engel Girls watch the new Strawberry Shortcake and D.M. makes them watch the old one.

Paul Konerko retires from the White Sox and everyone cries. The Dads dread trotting out the 2005 Sox forever like Chicago trots out the 85 Bears,

Josie Engel is a rapping surfer from gangsta city.  The New Strawberry Shortcake has no conflict.

Growing Pains had a Gold sister, but we don't know which.

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Friday, September 26, 2014

Bonus Problems 120: Stop Listening to NPR

Listen to enough NPR and your "driveway moment" will be a shotgun suicide in the car.

D.M. and Matt wanted Scotland to secede, and so did the rest of America.

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Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Episode 136 (Part 2): This Is Getting Wierd

Please send a car.
Todd tries to get an iPhone 6 and gets a bureaucratic nightmare out of a Russian novel, instead.

Matt throws a birthday party and breaks his own heart.

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Monday, September 22, 2014

Episode 136 (Part 1): Sh!t Show


Matt and Todd help Dave paint his house (a dramatization).


Hey Everybody! IN this episode we wonder why phones are getting bigger and pants are getting smaller. Todd has ordered his iPhone 6 and already resents for distracting him from his kids.

Dave's girls have decided to continue to share a room...for now. This saves Dave many man hours of remodeling, but he will continue to never sleep. Dave loves plastic mattresses. If Dave paints half of his house once a week, Zeno's Paradox says he will NEVER be done painting his house.

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Friday, September 19, 2014

Bonus Problems 119: Cocoon

On this bonus edition, the Dads make the horrifying discovery that Wilford Brimley was only 10 years older than Matt when he filmed Cocoon, and they wonder what casting would be for a remake of Cocoon.

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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Episode 135 (Part 2): Almost Boobs

D.M. is finally putting the twins in different bedrooms, but now he has to make the decorations equitable.  Oh, and bats are falling out of the sides of his home, because they removed the headstones, BUT THEY DIDN'T REMOVE THE BODIES!

And Todd completely melts down on his kids for not feeding the dog. Now there is no dog to feed. Oh, and his daughter is blossoming into a woman, as are the Dads. That means she's asking about pantyliner commercials, which make Todd almost as uncomfortable as his kids not feeding the dog.

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Sunday, September 14, 2014

Episode 135 (Part 1): The Birthday Fairy?


The what?!
This week the Dads come up with a great plan for screwing over Olive Garden's marketing department: the Pasta Colostomy.

Then they talk toddler beds and how they ruin your life.

Viva went to the hospital, and ever since is the most spoiled child on earth - and her upcoming birthday will feature live entertainment and all the presents ever.  Everything in Matt's house is brought by a fairy, and death is never permanent, everything in D.M.'s Syracuse is cold, harsh reality.

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