Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Episode 132 (Part 2): Digging Your Own Shallow Grave

"Holy Muffin-top, Batman!"
Welcome to part 2! Dave’s landscaping project may have caused his basement to flood. Dave considers that killing himself would be easier than the clean-up he has ahead of him.

Todd’s kids have been into the 1960’s Batman reruns on IFC. While the show is harmless, IFC doesn’t seem to realize that kids might be watching Batman reruns at 8 in the morning and thinks it is okay to runs promos for shows that involve hand-jobs and public urination.

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Monday, August 25, 2014

Episode 132 (Part 1): Ebola vs. ALS


How Liberia deals with disease…How we deal with disease.
Welcome back to your mom's favorite show to rock a shower head to. Matt's in France checking out your underpants this week. He'll be back in a few days, ready to fill our hearts with tales of pastry and surrender.

Todd really hates Seth Meyers show. D.M. hates Americans who think Ebola could possibly ever in a million billion years come to the U.S. and decimate the country. He also rocks some serious geography  regarding recent events in Liberia.

D.M.'s daughter Cecilia cuts her face so the dads can put a plug in for Mederma on Amazon Prime. Sweet kid, that Cecilia. Todd used it on his daughter hit a dog's mouth with her face and it cleared everything right up.

Next the dads take a call on the White Dad Voice Mail, on which Matthew Sm1th (spelled correctly) craps on D.M.'s parenting skills.

ALS is stealing all the money out from under all other diseases, and it has to stop. Now.

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Friday, August 22, 2014

Bonus Problems 117: Me, Myself, and I


Longing for the D.A.I.S.Y Age, when we could pay our bills.
Happy Friday!! Forget your work week with dose of Bonus! Pizza Hut is worried about competition hurting it's business, when they should be worried that it's not 1987. Our generation loves to talk about the 80's but the guys wonder if people will ever be nostalgic about the 90's. Todd already is if you count his collection of De La Soul music.

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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Episode 131 (Part 2): I Just Don't Think I Showed Well


Welcome back.

Seriously. Where is it?
Now that D.M.'s daughters are two-and-a-half and potty trained, they've started more difficult bodily fluid expulsion tricks, like how to poop in a corner, or pee in front of the toilet. Cecilia seems to have mastered the art of clenching her face in order to make her father think she's pooping…as a joke.

Matt has to get a physical, and it's time to show his female doctor the goods. She's nervous, of course, and in the end there just wasn't enough blood flowing to that region of the body to impress anyone.

Todd looks at a twenty-year-old note to Kelly that Matt drew on back in the day.

Tony Stewart murders a guy, and Ferguson, MO, is still a bad place to take the kids on vacation.

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Sunday, August 17, 2014

Episode 131 (Part 1): Blackout Fat

"And when I woke up, there were three of these
in my mouth at once."
On today's new episode, the Dads go loco for the jalapeno double.

The Dads test out the new voice mail with a drowning drunk dial from Ohio - we hope the caller is still alive, but it doesn't seem like it!

Matt gets some phrase books on Amazon, and is afraid to use them, while D.M. downloads "Nemo" on Amazon so he can cry and cry and cry. The Dads are tired of having their emotions destroyed by manipulated points of light, and Todd's troubles seem too always line up with tragedies in Pixar films.

Speaking of grief - people on Facebook need to get it together, lest the passing of Robin Williams push facebook hystrionics right into madness.

Todd doesn't want to be so out of shape anymore, but his body keeps bringing him to fast food restaurants, sometimes shutting off his brain to make it happen.  He thinks there is one last fit Todd in there somewhere, but it he may have to hit rock bottom to get there, and rock bottom for Todd might mean accidentally crushing one of his children while playing Twister... which almost happened this week.

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Friday, August 15, 2014

Puppet Problems 3: You Made Me Do This




We're puppets.  Sick, violent puppets.  Share this with everyone you know.

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Bonus Problems 116: Love Dumb



Join us as the dads discuss the pros and cons of falling in love with a dumb person. Then check out our new puppet problems at whitedadproblems.com

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