Thursday, May 21, 2015

Episode 167 (Part 2); BORING


Oh my god.
On Part 2 we hear Todd and Matt's updates - as Todd discovers his heaven and his hell - a deluxe sausage store in his own neighborhood.  (Nice knowing you, Todd.)

And Viva works on some new catch phrases - like "BOOOORING" and "OH MY GOD!". Sweet little thing.

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Sunday, May 17, 2015

Episode 167 (Part 1): Make-A-Wish Dads


But it's my last wish. You have to do it. 
Hey everybody! D.M. fells asleeps, and so you'll notice we only charged you 2/3 the normal price for the episode. 

Todd and D.M. are going to die due to their fatness, so don't they deserve one last wish? 

Dad Bod is sweeping the nation, but none of the dads are in the Dad Bod zone.


Matt finally figured out that Amazon will give you things you want to buy for free. 

Matt wonders if its weird to sit in a bar at a grocery store and have a beer. 

Todd has a new restaurant moving into his neighborhood that also sells microwaves. 

Have you encountered someone trying to shoot you with a machine gun? Just remember that if you run, the spray will always be just behind you.

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Thursday, May 14, 2015

Episode 166 (Part 2): Run Away From This Wind



"Hey, You Guys, I need some Benadryl, all right?"
Hey, you guys, I need some Benadryl, all right?
Now we're in update - in which Matt chokes on the air and tried to fix something after digging in the dreaded instruction and warranty drawer.

Meanwhile, Dave realizes his daughters wake up in the middle of the night and do magic cobbling or something.

And Todd deals withe the new emo streak in his new teen who has lost his ability to bat in favor of an aility to appreciate Cure song.

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Monday, May 11, 2015

Episode 166 (Part 1): Capri Sludge


Jesus Fuck.
Todd and D.M. daydream about all of the dads living in the same town. Then they high five that they don't have Matt's work lifestyle. 

Todd and D.M. were both almost the nicest cops you've ever met.

Making children scream is the best, especially in the 21st century when it doesn't mean that they're being eaten alive. 

Todd gets Kelly shit for Mother's Day. D.M. gets his old lady a guitar. A pink, vagina-coloured guitar. Both men want to kill Mother's Day: the birthing gift of holidays.

Kylie Jennernever mind. Who gives a shit? 

The 90s were racist. Bob hope hated homosexuals. 

Todd phones it in. Every Wednesday.

Capri Sun just got thicker. It's up to you if thickness is something you're looking for in a children's juice box. 

Dad Bod: the bullsh*t fad so that guys can drink.

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Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Episode 165 (Part 2): Toddler Sweatshop Art

Updates in part 2!

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Sunday, May 3, 2015

Episode 165 (Part 1): Flesh Wrist

Hey everybody! James Cameron wants to sell you four more Avatar movies. BORING.
Show us your wrists!

D.M. learns what a "flesh wrist" is. 

Matt bought a Princess Leia costume for his daughter on Amazon. All agree that the Episode VII will be so f#cking good.

Bud Light put out beer cans that love rape. Cee Lo is probably done, but he'll still have a job at Jurassic Park. Remember how R Kelly peed on an underage teen? We do. 

The dads don't beat each other up about their parenting strategies, but Todd judges the sleeping habits of Matt's daughter. 

D.M. just wants to be touched. Matt thinks DHA is bullish#t because no kid should ever eat two servings of salmon a day. He thinks this because it's true. 

Jeremy Piven: Quitter. 

Todd's daughter doesn't eat anything  but bread and potatoes. D.M.'s kids will only wear lounge wear. Matt's kid has rules for how he walks into the house. 

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Friday, May 1, 2015

Episode 164 (Part 2): F**king Awesome Jesus Church

'Nuff said.
The Dads discuss the Full House reboot, which is bound to be big news in Todd's house. The new series will star Candace Cameron, who Matt and Dave thing should believe whatever she wants, but keep it the fuck to herself!!

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