Friday, November 21, 2014

Bonus Problems 127: Don't Go To Buffalo

D.M. and Todd wait for Matt as Todd coughs to death and Bill Cosby rapes everybody.

Meanwhile, Bono gets in a bike wreck and, tragically, survives to make more music that sounds like old music.

More Ebola deaths, and more snow in Buffalo.  And Summer is a shootin' time.

Why do people even live in Buffalo? ...alcoholism.

D.M. gives marital advice: go to bed angry.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Rerun Problems: Episode 98 (Part 2): Drawer Full of Teeth


Welcome to the bone room at Todd's house,
featuring his spectacular dentatorium.
This week has been insane for the three of us dads. No recording took place, and so here's a Thanksgiving episode from last year just to get you in the mood to rape and murder an entire race of people (or at least celebrate like you did). Enjoy!

* * *

Todd wonders how much longer Santa will be coming to his house. All the dads hate Santa for many reasons, mostly because he gets all the cred for the sweet gifts.

Speaking of Santa, his friend the tooth fairy came to Todd's house again, and again Todd screwed the whole thing up. This story is probably going down as a White Dad Problems all time classic!

Matt's monitor is either a portal to the past, a portal to the future, or possessed by the demon boy Caleb. Any way you look at it, he's screwed.  Plus he was home alone last week, sadly baking lasagna after lasagna while receiving prank copies of "Every Day with Rachel Ray" from his friends.

Then a hippie tells him they will "smell ya later" and he strokes out.

Tune in Friday

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Sunday, November 16, 2014

Rerun Problems: Episode 98 (Part 1): Euphoria, Insanity and Heart Damage


Don't bother me when I haven't slept, Mork,
or you'll be fishing with Fredo, capisce?
This week has been insane for the three of us dads. No recording took place, and so here's a Thanksgiving episode from last year just to get you in the mood to rape and murder an entire race of people (or at least celebrate like you did). Enjoy!

                                  *    *    *

You survived your camp out in the Best Buy parking lot?  Just lost 4 toes but got a flat screen for $100?  Good for you.

We've got a sexy new listener in Syracuse named "Courtney Cakes" and she likes us, especially when we mock Syracusian yard pipes!

Really Beastie Boys?  Really Goldiblocks?  This is the dumbest fight ever.

D.M. prepares to travel to see family and mooch a bed, which he hates.  He also hasn't slept in a long time.... a looooong time.  Matt used to not sleep, and he got off on the sickness. Speaking of sickness, D.M. contemplates whether or not he has bipolar disorder, and it's the funniest examination of the gradual unravelling of a human being since Anna Nicole died in front of her child.

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Friday, November 14, 2014

Bonus Problems 126: Tapioca Mudslide

I should have worn flip flops!!!
It's a live Bonus as Matt and Todd shiver in a car.  They talk college dorm shower horrors, roommates with runaway girlfriends, classy dorm furniture, and insidious car smells!

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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Episode 143 (Part 2): Shower Power Nap

Updates time - Todd teaches us the cool new way of napping.

Matt watches a movie about a haunted mirror and realizes that he is too old to ever be loved.

And an exhausted D.M. reveals that his wife cheaped out on Halloween and is the worst mother ever.

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Sunday, November 9, 2014

Episode 143 (Part 1): Backdoor Bigtop


No means no!
You know what Haunted Houses need more of?  Rape clowns. And that's just what Todd's town got...

Matt buys Thanksgiving decorations because he hates having money.  Everyone needs to stop buying things.

On the WDP Farm Report, the guys complain that we overexpose little kids to the obsolete concept of farming.

D.M. goes to Target to buy soap - chaos ensues.  And let's talk about soap, baby.

You know what was weird?  The Casper movie.

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Friday, November 7, 2014

Bonus Problems 125: Space Lips or Astro Labia?

"What'll they go with?"
Todd tells kids at the end of Halloween Night, "Take a handful." D.M. can't take the candy that Todd puts inside of his face.

D.M. is speaking quietly because he's on hall duty, making sure his children don't wake up his exhausted wife.

The dads listen to "The Worst SNL sketch ever". Which isn't at all the worst SNL sketch ever. It's actually pretty good for sitcom writing. The dads wonder, "Why Keenan Thompson?"

Next, dads discuss the Olive Garden "Pasta Eating Contest".

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