Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Episode 163 (Part 2): Workout Porn


"Worst stag party ever."
D.M. decides to go to St. Louis without his expensive kids so he can eat fried ravioli and have his enormous country bear brothers drink him under the table.

Matt's kid goes from George Plimpton to George "The Animal" Steele every time a stranger walks up.

And Todd is bringing being overprotective to a science. 

Also - the drummer for Def Leppard only has one arm.
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Sunday, April 19, 2015

Episode 163 (Part 1): Hanson Got Hansoned


Why don't I have a seat.
The Sesame Street characters in Times Squares are taking over...Times Square.

D.M. hates that Matt's kid is awake.

Todd is scared of Voxer, the walkie talkie app that D.M. bullied Todd and Matt into downloading.

Chris Hanson is back! Almost. He needs your money so he can entrap people again with lemonade and twelve-year-old looking twenty-year-olds.

More vasectomy talk. D.M. refuses to not be put under.  This is only because his wife will be forced to treat him with kid gloves for a while.

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Friday, April 17, 2015

Bonus Problems 139: The Price is Wrong


Have your Sandler spayed and neutered.
What is the price of your dog's life? DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T HAVE ONE!!!!  LIAR!!!!

And this week venture in to the heart of Todd's South Side accent with a call to his Dad - the one and only Bob Jay!

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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Episode 162 (Part 2): Eating a Bird Period


Ah, such gaily colored chicken menstruation.
Easter reports this week from Matt and Todd.  Matt goes way, way overboard and is not bathing in candy, and Todd get's the heart breaking question from Ellie: "Is the Easter Bunny really my sweaty, Polish father?"

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Monday, April 13, 2015

Episode 162 (Part 1): Amazon Wipe



"Thanks, Amazon Wipe!"
D.M. fell asleep. And his sperm is still intact. It's still snowing in Syracuse.

Todd gets an A on his yearly physical and Matt has a hard on for tornados. 

Todd and Matt can't understand why Voxer is awesome. Then they ponder the future of Amazon when there are buttons to reorder everything.

Matt regales Todd with the Ben and Jerry's puking kid story.

Tim from NY sends a voice mail regarding unsolicited d*ck pics. This leads to an anecdote about Todd losing his mind in the middle of a college acting class. 

What happened to the Elmo guy? In any case, The Muppet Show is back, Twin Peaks is dead, and Where the WIld Things Are didn't impress Matt.

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Thursday, April 9, 2015

Episode 161 (Part 2): Nakekins Skywalker


I dreamt I started talking like Mufasa
 and my acitng got 1,000x better.
D.M. has officially surrendered to the Nothing and bought a mini-van. RIP DM Engel's Dignity: 1975-2015.

Matt learns of the epic hero/villain known as "Nakekins Skywalker."

And Todd be lightin' up mechs as an old man gamer!

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Monday, April 6, 2015

Episode 161 (Part 1): FPV

Is it fat, like when you had me?
Karma's getting back at Todd by giving pneumonia to his daughter. The dads want to go to Indiana but now no one will serve them at a restaurant.

Wal-Mart has killed small town America. No matter. Amazon exists, and sells D.M.'s wife a ton of art supplies for kids. Also her vagina got fat during her pregnancy.

Todd returns and discusses how his daughter is withering away, and the screams of Matt's child require him to leave for the remainder of the show. In the meantime, D.M. and Todd discuss hockey face lacerations.

Join us, won't you?

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