Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Episode 115 (Part 2): Bath Time with the Beatles

In an Octopus's Garden, with You.
Jr. High kids are sexting in the suburbs - duh!  And wouldn't you have?  Thank god cell phones are new.

Alex gets a love note, and Todd accidentally humiliates and horrifies him.

Matt still can't figure out how to order food - this time he fails at Taco Bell.

And Matt and Viva listen to the famous Beatles song, "Green Mister Grouchy Guy."

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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

WDP at Chicago Parent: Spotify Killed the Radio Star

Hipster Viva regards your
music collection disdainfully.
Today at  our Chicago Parent blog, we address the state of music today, especially for confused grown-ups.

Click here.

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Sunday, April 13, 2014

Episode 115 (Part 1): It's Not What You Think

"Shoot - ballpic.jpg isn't a picture of
my daughters playing catch, is it?"
The Dads ponder why they always get looked over to inherit late night talk shows - even "The Chevy Chase Awkward Squirming Hour".

Viva wants a scooter, and a helmet, because kids are nerds now. And college kids on skateboards are tools. Todd buys Alex a scooter that he hates.  Matt reminisces about bringing crutches to a Brazilian steak house, resulting in multiple accidental stabbings, and the Dads debate grocery store passing etiquette.

D.M. is glad he jumped off Facebook before it got so boring they had to make up something to do on Thursdays, and the Dads realize that Throwback Thursday is an excuse for parents past their prime to show photos of themselves when they looked good.

It seems inappropriate for Spotify to put animal abuse commercials on sexy stations... is it even more appropriate to just sex through them?

In one of the great updates in WDP history, D.M. tries to show a baby picture on his phone to his 60 year old neighbors... and show them something else, instead.

Also, D.M. continues to try and murder his offspring - it all started way back with his blown IVF trigger shot - now he's accidentally pulling them off of swings and slides.

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And check out our weekly comic essays each Tuesday at Chicago Parent!

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Friday, April 11, 2014

Bonus Problems 102: I Could've Gone to Harvard

Or MIT
Here's the deleted scenes for the Criterion Collection version of this show.

D.M.'s neighbors are using his wife as their psychiatric couch.

You know what ruins time travel fantasies? Kids. (They ruin everything.)

And hyphenated ladies last names: do they keep one foot in singlehood?

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Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Episode 114 (Part 2): Catch That Space Pole

Great space pole catches in sci-fi history.
Warning - here be spoilers for the movie "Gravity". Phase one, in which Doris gets her oats.

D.M.'s kids refuse to give up their pacifiers, even though their teeth will soon look far worse than those of a sheepshead fish. He also wants to start a podcast just giving away spoilers, and decided to start it right here.

Then D.M. argues that Sandra Bullock's character should probably have just given up in "Gravity" - and the emergency value of the liberal application of space poles to space stations is discussed.

Todd becomes a harsh "Pierogi Dad" again by asking if he should be punishing his kid for a B- in handwriting.  Aren't you glad you don't live in Todd's house?

And we finish with a discussion of state fossils in South Carolina - the land before time!

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Sunday, April 6, 2014

Episode 114 (Part 1): Bleachable Moments

Bleachable Moments brought to you
by Tarantino and Clorox
Is a little todder urine really worth the shower scene from "Silkwood", Clorox? Couldn't you just mop it up? And does Clorox need to advertise?

Matt goes crazy on "Amazon Mom" and now his house is filled with diapers.  Diapers are expensive.

Mommas, don't let your babies go out with James Francos.

Matt visit's a second grade and, like Todd's house, it is a horror show of loose teeth.

Children are terrifying.

Children's skulls are a terrifying thing - rivaled only by the sheepshead fish!

And finally, the Dads realize they've reached an age where ordering from restaurants and buying things in stores is frightening and confusing.  Oh, and so they start shoplifting!

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Anna Paquin would kill for these chompers.
And check out our weekly comic essays each Tuesday at Chicago Parent!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a random object from D.M.'s house!

Friday, April 4, 2014

Bonus Problems 101: The Sound of Children Laughing

"You are at a 10. I need you at a goddamned 6."
Inside the Actor's Studio sheds its last vestige of respectability by having the d-bag hack boat that is the cast of HIMYM pay James Lipton. And Matt retells James Lipton's story about being fucked with by Marlon Brando.

If the Dads are ever on a Generation Ship, they have mixed feelings about wearing space suits all day.

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

And check out our weekly comic essays each Tuesday at Chicago Parent!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a random object from D.M.'s house!