Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Episode 128 (Part 2): Polish Beastmaster


Mistrz Zwierzat
Here's a great new episode for the Todd lovers out there.  Both of you.

Todd locks up his children's skin disease and throws them back in the public waterways.

Then he completely gives up on his vitality and buys a birdfeeder, so he can give $15 worth of seeds a day to birds. But not the black ones (racist!!!!!).

He also has a new way to eat ice cream every day, and has convinced Matt's daughter that ice cream > fruit.

Speaking of Viva, she will pee on your floor and not care one bit.  She's the honey badger of peeing on floors.

And Matt sees a billboard for "abortion juice."  Tasty.

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And check out our weekly comic essays each Tuesday at Chicago Parent!

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Tuesday, July 22, 2014

WDP at CP - Are You Too Proud a Parent?

Wings too spicy? Maybe for YOUR kid...
Are you TOO proud of your kids?  Find out at our blog at Chicago Parent!

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Monday, July 21, 2014

Episode 128 (Part 1): Pujol's Revenge


Don't drink the water.
We're back after a midsummer hiatus. Well, most of most of us are back - Engel is several pounds down after a, shall we say, eventful destination wedding in the Dominican Republic.  There will be blood... and feces.  Lots of blood and feces. And third world hospitals. And lots of yelling in broken Spanish. And blood and feces.

We also talk rat (or maybe lion) poison, handjobs on airplanes, and D.M.'s kids growing past needing their parents.

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

And check out our weekly comic essays each Tuesday at Chicago Parent!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a random object from D.M.'s house!

Friday, July 18, 2014

Summer Rerun Problems: Episode 101 (Part 3) - Squatty Potty

I run. You run. We all run - for reruns!

We'll be back Monday - enjoy this old crap!

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On Part 3, Viva pees in the potty, but not before using her potty topper as a life preserver.  Todd suggests Matt and D.M. get a "Squatty Potty", because the correct anorectal angle make you poop faster. D.M. thinks pooping faster will take the only moment of peace in a Dad's life and make it shorter.

Then... "butt hymen."

Finally, Matt gets shouted at by another stranger, but this time it isn't a hippie or a vagrant, it's some dick in Starbucks who may or may not hate kids.

...and you get to hear the infamous story of Matt's nearly homicidal fight with another Dad in an outlet mall parking lot.

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

And check out our weekly comic essays each Tuesday at Chicago Parent!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a random object from D.M.'s house!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Summer Rerun Problems: Episode 101 (Part 2): Butt Hold


Rerun Van Pelt. Remember him? Us neither.
We're back Monday with new stuff!  Here's old stuff!  And read our latest at Chicago Parent!

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Todd has decided to bequeath some old possessions to his children, including his old comic strip collections and his makeup Kaboodle, bringing up the questions:
1. Was Garfield ever funny?
2. Was Calvin and Hobbes good?
3. Why so many cows, Gary Larson?
4. Family Circus mom - hot?
5. Why does Matt's mom want him to be gay SO MUCH?

But before that, a discussion of BUTT DISEASES old and new, and what to store in that Butt Hold?

D.M.'s in-laws dumped a world of Christmas lights on him, and he's always the last to know schedule changes.  Now he's working not to screw his daughters over on their Christmas birthdays.

Speaking of birthdays, how come teachers got to beat kids on their birthdays in the 70s and 80s, and frequently touched their butts?  That's weird.

Finally we examine D.M.'s gnarly 80's boners.

Don't forget: Second Knuckle for Good Luckle.

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

And check out our weekly comic essays each Tuesday at Chicago Parent!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a random object from D.M.'s house!

Monday, July 14, 2014

Summer Rerun Problems: Episode 101 (part 1): She Smells Like Misery

Hey, Hey, Hey, it's Rerun time.
We took 4th of July week off to get our hands grafted back onto our wrists, so no new shows this week!  Instead, listen to this one from January and here what was happenin' then.  (Or listen to last weeks episodes that we fucked up and posted late.)

New episodes Monday!

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The Dads are back with the first new episode of 2014, and their first new episode past the 100 mark, and it's a doozy - and a three parter!

First off it's a winter time breakdown of the infamous Santa Claus monologue from "Gremlins."

Next the Dads, with the help of some listeners, figure out what happened to Pudding Pops.  We also learn that Matt doesn't know how pudding is made, and that if Todd and Dave ever lived together, they would almost instantly become codependent and Circus fat.

The Dads discuss what a bad idea it is to work with your wife, and how it would be like olfactory fatigue for happiness.

Speaking of happiness, did you know that Todd and his wife once had so much trouble sleep training their kid that they called a SUICIDE HOTLINE?  Listen, ye new parents, and weep.

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

And check out our weekly comic essays each Tuesday at Chicago Parent!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!

Friday, July 11, 2014

Bonus Problems 113: The Mind’s Ability to Bulls#!t

"Why did I get so drunk at my high school reunion?!?"
In this week's bonus the dads discover three reasons why your wife will cheat on you. Somehow they left off "contempt over road-trip music." Todd thinks cheating is too much work. Dave wonders what it would be like to not love his family, so he could run around town nailing anything that walks on two legs, but he's become too attached follow through.

Then Dave wonders how much it sucked if flat feet kept you out of WWII and you had to spend the rest of your life watching everyone else be in a parade every other day.

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

And check out our weekly comic essays each Tuesday at Chicago Parent!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a random object from D.M.'s house!